On being selfish and selfless

My generation of the 60’s was responsible for a lot of good and some not so good.

We took drugs and preached revolution, made music and were hedonistic in the extreme.  We let it all hang out, we said what we felt, we criticised what we didn’t understand and we berated the generation before us. We took down the bastions of a grey post-war conservative society, entrenched in its ways.

This threw up opportunities in every area and the rebuilding of a new world is still happening today. If I could live in any age this one would be it. At the same time I believe we were more selfish than they were, thinking about ourselves more than the common good, despite our protestations.

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.

The XIVth Dalai Lama

My behaviour has not always been great. I have learned better behaviour and practise it every day:  try to be less selfish, less egotistical, more generous, say less, listen more and still be bold. It’s a work in progress…

What I aspire to, and to some extent have learnt, is to keep my own counsel more. Not to over-explain. To practise being stronger and less vocal when my natural spirit is to over-share my thoughts. Importantly I see the company as being for the benefit of all and its interests as being above everybody else’s.

  • Take Away

    The man in the mirror

  • Being unselfish can be learned by practice.

  • Behaviour is everything, from manners and loyalty to dedication and drive.

  • Try talking less about yourself and being more interested in others or vice versa.

  • Anger is the killer. Resentments are like a poison which you drink, hoping the other will die. Not a good formula.

  • In conversation wait until the silence ends – rapport is often in the silence.

  • Affirm what the other has said before launching into your own spiel.

  • Always listen carefully and never dismiss.

  • Gratitude leads to positivity. Make a list – daily even.

  • Listening is like wearing X-ray specs.

  • Have the courage to say you don’t know.